The Conversation

First, I’ve been struggling again with the next line in my “What I’m Looking For” series, and I’m close…I’ll try to post lines 10 and 11 today.

But bigger picture, I’ve come to a realization recently and I’d like to put it out there so everyone will understand where I’m coming from. Let’s talk about comments. Specifically, how I answer comments.

The comments are my favorite part of blogging. I enjoy writing comments, and I deeply love when people post comments on the things I write. My favorite blog in the whole world is noteworthy not for the posts themselves so much as the wonderful comments and conversations that happen there.

Conversation is the key word. I feel like every comment here is a part of a conversation. Every comment I post somewhere else is part of a conversation. Some conversations are very public, and I just feel like I’m contributing one more voice in a collective; that I’m just chiming in, and no reply is necessary or expected.

But here, on my blog, I feel like I’m having conversations in a coffee shop…personal and sincere, but not private. I feel like everyone who shows up is due the respect of a response, even if it’s just a verbal nod of the head and the confirmation that I was paying attention and I heard what you said.

What I don’t want, is to come across like I have to have the last word. Or, to sound like some sanctimonious prig who always thinks he knows better…or knows more. I want this to be a place where people feel invited to have a conversation. I value every comment, and I want to encourage that conversation, even if I disagree with someone’s position, my disagreement and my response are a part of a conversation and NOT meant to be seen as “the last word.”

I do not think of myself as someone with all the answers…hell, I don’t even think of myself as someone with even a decent grasp of SOME of the answers. I am a person who will write about what I’m thinking, and then enjoy talking about what other people have to say about those things.

I guess what I’m saying is that I have a terrible addiction to words. I use lots and lots and lots of them. If you write a 30 word comment, and I stitch in a 300 word response, please PLEASE don’t feel like I’m somehow talking over you…I’m just a talker; and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate the chance to talk.

I don’t confuse the amount of words I can say about a topic with being “right” about a topic; I’m just perpetually afraid that other people don’t draw that distinction.

9 thoughts on “The Conversation

  1. I love having conversations with you via your blog. I hate it when someone stops by my blog, leaves a comment to which I respond, and then I never hear from them again! I want conversations, too!

    My biggest concern with one-shot commenters is that I said something to offend them, hence they never return. Which is silly, because the obvious conclusion is that I haven’t written anything else they felt compelled to comment ON. That doesn’t worry me…somehow accidentally offending someone does.

    I love that you address everything when someone comments here. Don’t ever change.

    I’ll try not to.

  2. Oh. And I hope you are able to get past whatever is troubling you with lines 10 and 11. I’m excited to read them.

    Lines 10 through 17 were originally done and scheduled. Then I wrote line 9, and I changed what was going to be in line 11. Which made me completely chuck what had been in line 10. SO…now I have 11 through 17 done, but I’m still slogging with 10. I promise not to change too much after this, as the re-writes are starting to kick my butt.

  3. “Sanctimonious Prig” is the name of my Maroon 5 cover band…

    I honestly laughed out loud.

  4. I am totally with you on replying to comments…though sometimes all I can muster up is a ‘thanks’ but I am so glad when ppl stop by and make the effort.

    Yeah, I have those moments, and sometimes I run into comments that are so self contained, I’m not sure what to add…so I add as little as possible and move on.

    It comes back to my coffee shop metaphor, sometimes there are comments that I’d rather just gloss through or accept and move on to the next topic of conversation. That hasn’t really happened here at mybadpants, but was a more frequent occurrence on a previous blog. So far this blog has been much more conversational, which probably has something to do with the more personal tone to the posts and comments.

    The personal and conversational feel is something I’m quite pleased with, but I’m always glad to here from more visitors, even if it’s just “Howdy, I read your blog.”

  5. I always find your comments so well thought out.

    Thank you, that is very high praise indeed coming from you.

    I don’t reply to every comment on my blog- sometimes due to lack of time, sometimes because I don’t have anything to say back, and I hope people get enough back-and-forth conversation to make the reading worth their while. I deeply admire people who make that time to respond.

    I can’t speak for others, but I certainly find reading your blog worth my while.

  6. I’m sorry to hear that. I hope things get better

    Things are actually looking up this week, so hopefully more output to come soon!

  7. I have had irrepressible thoughts of you today. (Not that kind, people.)

    Some days I sit in an overwhelming tsunami of crap and work and more crap and I just pray for something to break through the clouds and cast a ray of sunlight on the little island I feel trapped on. Today, that sentence was that ray of sunshine. I don’t know why, but that second line left me laughing so hard I had to slide my chair back. For whatever random reason, that really REALLY helped.

    For some reason, you have been roaming carte blanche around my head today, with the feeling that there is a key to something that lies within you, or me, or you and me, or or or …? A key for me? A key for you? For someone else entirely? I have no idea. But something is there, jabbing at my brain, and printing your name on everything in my field of vision. Maybe we should converse … Hoping that you are well, Dys

    I will drop you an email, perhaps we can sort out whatever thought-fragment the universe is hiding just outside your field of vision.

    I am well enough, and your concern counts for much.

Comments are closed.