“That paragraph was ridiculously geek-filled and made no sense” you say? Let me break it down.

Dish Network has sold me the Extended Choice package, the HDTV channels add on package, two HD receivers that can feed TV to four televisions, and a DVR so I can record what I want to watch and watch it when I want to watch it. I will be up front, this cost me $139.79 a month including taxes and fees. I didn’t even pay for “premium” channels like HBO or Showtime or Cinimax, and I was totaling out at $1,677.48 a year.

I also pay $20 a month for a Netflix subscription, and $120 for a one year MLB.tv subscription so I can watch my Mariners from here in Atlanta; but those costs are above and beyond my “satellite” bill.

OS and I talked at length about what we ACTUALLY watched on satellite. We came up with ten shows:

1. Doctor Who
2. Castle
3. The Big Bang Theory
4. How I Met Your Mother
5. Glee
6. The Biggest Loser
7. Royal Pains
8. The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
9. “Pony Stuff” on RFDtv
10. Top Gear (BBC America)

Beyond this, I also watched every Chelsea FC match that showed on Fox Soccer Channel or one of the ESPNs, and football when I remembered to care (I’m a Seahawks fan…it can be hard to watch sometimes).

We get 99% of our news from npr.org and cnn.com and we get our weather from weather.com (and NOAA when the wind and lightning get a bit uppity).

So let’s break that down, that’s about ten hours a week, or forty hours a month; which works out to almost exactly $3.50 an hour ($139.79 / 40 = $3.49475). Three-and-a-half bucks really isn’t that bad a deal.

In fact, it’s below the media marketing “magic number” of $5 an hour. Don’t know the magic number? Do the math. Ever paid to see a movie? did you pay more than $5 an hour ($8 for a 90 minute flick)? Did it annoy you? If the ticket had been just a little lower would you have felt ok about it? That’s the magic number. Redbox is king of the Magic Number. Netflix is king of the Magic Number. Matinée movies are king of the Magic Number. Ever wonder why video games cost $60 bucks for a twelve hour experience on your XBox, but an iPhone app cost $2.99? The Magic Number. You instinctively know how much time you’ll actually spend playing an app – it’s about 45 minutes. Sure, some apps are great (Angry Birds) and return a ridiculous amount above the magic number…but those are the games that sell a bazillion copies over time.

Break down your own TV bill. If it’s working out to less than $5 an hour (even if you NEVER did the math before) you’ll find out you don’t mind. If you watch few enough hours that it goes above $5 an hour, you probably already got rid of your service…again, even if you never did the math.

And make no mistake, the service is designed to get you to watch more TV and lower the per-hour cost (“addiction retention” isn’t just for cigarettes). Ever wonder why TV channels run as many ads for their own shows as they do for product advertising? Lowering the PHC by increasing hours viewed returns as much money as Ford pays to show off computer generated trucks while Mike Rowe gives a voiceover.

Reality TV (both the HGTV kind and the “people behaving badly” kind) were watersheds for expanding viewing hours. No one wants to look away from a trainwreck or a remodel (or a trainwreck of a remodel for that matter). Did you ever wonder why Animal Planet stopped doing shows about animals and started doing them about people who rescue dogs or monkeys or stray cats from horders? Retention hours. Wonder why Discovery Channel and History Channel do less about science and history and more about stuff that looks like it escaped from the pages of the Weekly World News (Asteroids Hit the Earth! People Die in Mysterious Event! Nostradamus Predicts the Impending Apocalypse! UFOs Built the Pyramids!)? Retention hours.

I’m not gonna lie, it worked on me. It worked on me for too long.

Then we moved here, and something happened. We started watching less and less Satellite programming and more and more Netflix. I started watching my Mariners games on my iPad, and my soccer on ESPN3 on my XBox360.

Our per-month hours on the Satellite dropped to about 10 total. We were never getting through the DVR, and we found ourselves tuning out of Biggest Loser half-way through.

At ten hours our Per Hour cost was exceeding $16. That’s WAY over the Magic Number. Whereas our Netflix hours were somewhere in the 20-30 a month range, and our PHC was under a buck.

ESPN3 is free with my AT&T internet bill…so no cost there…

And I paid $120 for season’s worth of Mariner’s games and I’ve already seen ten (at an average of 3 hours each) for a net cost in the first month of $4 an hour. By the end of the season my net cost on MLB.tv will be under fifty cents an hour.

So, let’s talk about what we’d “lose” if we gave up Satellite. Well, of the ten shows we listed, only Five are “near and dear” to our hearts: Doctor Who, Castle, BBT, HIMYM and Glee.

Of those, we can watch four of them on Hulu the same week at no cost, or rent the show from iTunes for a buck. Doctor Who is more complicated, as there’s no rebroadcast, so we decided to get an iTunes Season Pass for $20.

Like my Soccer on FSN, the Pony Stuff is gonna be a web only kind of deal for a while. It’s a sacrifice that each of us is willing to make.

So…basically we’re talking $20 to replace $1677.48 out of the budget. Even if I buy an AppleTV for the main TV (so I don’t have to haul my laptop over and hook up to the HDMI) I’m only out another $99. That’s still less than a tenth of the old cost.

The other advantage is that it’s one less thing designed to keep me sitting on my ass. I pay for and acquire what I WANT to watch, without being sucked into the other things that come after. I need all the help I can get to get off my ass.

Saving $1500 a year doesn’t hurt either.

This week we send back our Dish equipment and put up an HD Antenna (to get local stations if possible). Yes, it kinda freaked me out, but the benefits outweigh the sacrifices. Without Apple iTunes and Netflix and ESPN3 and MLB.tv and Hulu I wouldn’t have the willingness to do this. But the a la carte model of getting what you want when you want it, and not paying for everything you don’t when you don’t…that model will kill the cable companies and satellite providers. Maybe not today, but by 2020 entertainment will come to our 3D TVs and our iPad 4s when we want it and only what we want.

And if today is any indication, it’s gonna save a lot of money.

[Word Count: 1275]

The ruling can be read here (it’s a .pdf) and starting on page 109 Judge Walker provides some of the most profoundly rational and reasonable findings I’ve come across in a federal ruling in a long time.  I’ve read the entire finding, and I encourage anyone to do the same.  It’s very approachable, and draws clear and reasonable conclusions.  Judge Vaughn will be excoriated as an “activist judge” by many on the losing side of this finding (which is hardly a risky prophecy given the love of some groups to trot out that phrase at the drop of a hat) and I honestly encourage people to take 10 minutes and read what the judge has to say, and read why he makes the decisions he makes.  It’s not a difficult read, just 25 pages of double-spaced, courier font goodness.  This is the essence of how America works.

I’m not a political blogger, nor am I a law blogger, nor am I an LGBT-issues blogger…nor am I a member of any of the classes of people that are directly affected by this ruling…but I am affected by the spirit of this ruling.  I have family that will be affected by this ruling. I have children who will live and love and marry in an American legal landscape decided by the ultimate Supreme Court review of this ruling.  I can only hope and pray that the Supreme Court of the United States gets it as right as Judge Walker got it today.

The conclusions of Judge Walker’s ruling:

Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same-sex couples. Because California has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.

We’re finally here in Atlanta, weather isn’t that bad, the new office is nice and I’m as busy as I’ve ever been.

Second, the very important bit:

A big wish for a very happy birthday goes out to to Tiffany at Snerkology.  I’ve been reading her blog frequently for what is starting to feel like many years.  Tiffany is great at many things, not the least of which are amusing anecdotes about life and craziness; but she also excels at photography, and describing delicious food and how to make it, and delightful twitter moments that make me snerk-out-loud in airport terminals at inappropriate times.

What I find so delightful about Tiffany is that she writes in such a way that I always come away from her posts absolutely convinced that her and her husband would be exactly the kind of people I’d want to hang out with.  And her sense of humor.  It cuts like a wicked blade both ways, especially in 140 character chunks.  The world needs more of that when it’s done with so much aplomb and grace.  And snerk.

I admit that had it not been for an announcement by TB I wouldn’t have known the significance of today, and I can only guess at her age, but based on the freshness of her life outlook and the photographic evidence, I can only assume she’s turning 29 today. Again

Wonderful wishes going out to Tiffany and her husband as they wander through Maine on vacation and enjoy a special day.

And then life reminded me that I already have a full-time job and I’m busy and blah-blah-blah (insert other excuses here).

So I recently bought a snazzy new netbook with a full sized keyboard and a large enough screen that I can actually use the thing and see a full page in Word.  I thought, “Hey, if I have a way to sit on my lazy ass on the couch and write, I’d become mister super writer dude and get everything I’ve ever wanted to write written, and then I’d be awesome!  And Stuff.”

But the only way to make the purchase worthwhile is to actually use it, so I’m also gonna participate in NaNoWriMo again this year.  I won’t be talking about this much here, athough I do hope that this new burst of creative inspiration will carry over here and drive me to post more and kick this place back up again.

You can follow along over at SerialStoryteller.com if you’d like to see the stuff I write that is more “for money” and less “for self-psychoanalysis” and peek into the process as I plug away at the 50,000 word NaNoWriMo goal.

Either way, here’s to a more creative November!

Ingredients:

1 Box (12.5 – 16 oz.) Penne Rigate pasta.  Rotini and ziti would also work very well, elbow macaroni and farfalle (bowtie) noodles would not.

1 10 oz. Can Old El Paso Enchilada Sauce – Mild (if you like it hot, go with spicy, but be warned I have no idea myself how this would turn out).

2 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts

~2 C finely grated Monterey Jack Cheese (i.e. a mound about the size of a softball).

1/2 C Pace Picante Salsa – Mild (again, as spicy as you like it, I just haven’t tried it myself).

~1 Cup finely grated Cheddar Cheese

~1 TBSP of taco seasoning?  Not sure on the amount here, enough to season two chicken breasts.

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 375.

Grease a 9×13 baking dish.

Grate your cheese.  Trust me, use the fine grating even though it takes three times as long.  This casserole is dependent on a good, even mixture of flavors and the large grate cheese just doesn’t mix as well and cooks in clumps.  NOT what you want.

Bring a pot of water to boil and cook the box of pasta.

While the pasta is cooking, season the chicken breasts with the taco seasoning and then grill them on your Foreman grill.  You do have a Foreman Grill right?  Everyone needs a Foreman Grill.  EVERYONE.

Now, as the universe works this way, your noodles and your chicken will end up finishing at exactly the same time, screwing up your carefully orchestrated plans for simultaneous prep steps.  Yank the chicken off the grill and onto a cutting board and let them rest for a couple of minutes while you drain the noodles and then return them to the pot.

Dump the entire can of enchilada sauce into the pot with the drained noodles, mixing thoroughly.

Slice the chicken breasts into strips about one inch thick.  Then, take a fork and shred the chicken.  Personally, I just smash the fork into the chicken and use the knife to constantly push the shredded chicken off the tines, but do whatever makes you happy.  Dump the shredded chicken into the pot (I do this one strip at a time, making room for the next one on the cutting board) and when all the chicken is in the pot, stir it all together with the noodles and the sauce.  Go for good, even coverage of sauce.

Now, mix in the Monterey Jack cheese.  Try to do this without large clumps of just cheese or chicken building up.  This is easier to say than do.  Be warned, over-stirring will be your enemy.

Now dump the whole mixture into the baking dish.

Put the salsa on the top of the mixture, using a fork to spread it across the surface of the casserole, and then cover the whole thing with the cheddar cheese.

Bake for about 30 minutes, or until the cheddar starts to brown on the edges and the casserole has cooked all the way through.  You’ll know when you hear the oils from the monterey jack simmering.  It will sound like the casserole is whispering.  Don’t take it personal, casseroles are just like that; always talking about you behind closed doors.

Remove the dish from the oven and let it rest for about 5 minutes before serving.

Personally, I like it with a dollop of sour cream on top and a couple of dashes of tapatio, but that’s just me.

Still, I am far from the worst grammar/spelling-nazi on the internet. In fact, I’m probably not even in the top thousand or so. Whereas, this person…this person is a demi-god:

It’s one thing to be a spelling and grammar psycho on the internet…it’s friggin AWSOME to be one in the gritty reality of life.

I wish I had even the slightest clue who staged this photo, I’d give them full attribution and credit. Alas, I do not have that info, so up it goes unattributed. I have no idea where I got this image from, but I’ve had it for at least a couple of years. It makes me smile every time I stumble upon it in the bowels of my personal files archive, so I thought I would share it with the world at large.